I’m not going to beat your car with an umbrella, shave my head, or anything to that nature. People with Bipolar disorder are often tagged as “crazy.” We are expected to drive our kids into a lake, shave our heads and wear pink wigs. I don’t blame people for thinking the way that they do, most people only know of bipolar disorder from the news and celebrities.
When someone does something really crazy; shooting up a college campus, drowning their kids in the bath tub, bipolar disorder is often one of the first few topics discussed. There are, however, functioning bi-polaroids (Haha. I made that term up, but it is pretty awesome!) out there. They will never kill anyone or drive their car through a bank. Hell, there a good possibility they may never do anything interesting in their entire life.
I fall into this category.
There is a big stigma about the whole thing and I feel embarrassed to talk about it, sometimes enough so that I hide it from people I know very well. I was diagnosed when I was 14 years old with Bipolar disorder. I’m not crazy, however, and I don’t want to be thought of in that light. When my husband walks out the door for work, I don’t want him to think I would EVER put myself or children in harms way. The people that know me know this but it’s always scary telling this to people I don’t know, I’m always worried about the way they will think of me.
Last week I went to the doctor to check my blood sugar and ask about some neck pain I was having. I had never seen this doctor before because our insurance changed in January and I had to pick a new primary care doctor.
I always hate that first visit with a new doctor, it takes forever to go through your history and explain things to them. Then they usually ask you questions about any medical conditions you or your family members may have gone through and treat you like you don’t know what your talking about. “When was this diagnosed? Who diagnosed this?”
I usually save the whole Bipolar diagnosis for right before they head out the door. Try to save myself the “talk” about asking for help and talking to a therapist they are trained to spout out.
I haven’t been on any medications for my Bipolar disorder or anxiety attacks for the past three and a half years. I was taking Lithium and Lexapro everyday but when I found out I was pregnant with my first daughter I stopped taking them all together. I never spoke with a doctor about going off them and this tends to freak doctors out.
In my own defense, I didn’t have any medical insurance. I got put on Medi-cal but it could only be used in relation to the pregnancy.
After I told her about the bipolar disorder, my new doctor told me that I need to wean my baby. She would prefer it that I be put back on my medications immediately and called her “therapist friend” right there and then to see if she could see me right away. I already had an appointment lined up with a psychiatrist before my appointment with her because I thought it was about time I found out what medications were out there that were safe enough to take while breastfeeding.
According to her, there aren’t any really. The only option she gave me was weaning my baby now and getting put on the strong medications I was taking before.
I love breastfeeding and I know my baby isn’t ready to wean. She won’t even take a bottle anyway since she hasn’t ever had to. My thoughts are, what is the rush? I have been off the medications for almost four years now. I function quite well, I think. My only real problem is that I have some pretty bad anxiety attacks.
My first reaction was that I will NOT wean the baby and that I would just wait until she is done nursing or wean her around 18 months like I did Kayla. But now I am not so sure. Is that a rash decision? Is that the disease talking? Or do I really have a choice? I am an intelligent young mother capable of making my own decisions in regards to the well being of my children. Is this post simply validating the fact that I am in need of medications because my racing thoughts are making this post seem like I am rambling on incoherently? Haha.
Medication can’t cure everything. I have a beautiful family. I am happy. I get depressed sometimes. Doesn’t everyone? Especially those that don’t make a lot of money and have special needs children that require lots of money to be spent on them?
I also get manic sometimes, but my manic cycles usually consist of talking really fast and being easily distracted. I tend to possibly make some bad decisions (spending money I shouldn’t) but most the time my actions these days are rather harmless. Plus I write better, take better pictures, and do much better graphic design during manic states. (I really do!)
I guess I’m just really unsure of what to do. I want to be responsible and do the right thing for my children, I’m just not sure whether or not the medication would make a big enough difference in my life to be worth discontinuing breastfeeding.
Any thoughts? I hope I haven’t scared any of you off, now. ; D



19 comments
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February 10, 2008 at 5:14 pm
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February 10, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Trish
PM – your post is very raw and honest. I applaud you asking for advice .The first way to get help is ask for it and that’s exactly what you did but not all Dr’s agree -so don’t just take one Drs advice.
There must be other nursing mothers who live with bi polar.
Have your talked to the Breastfeeding league in your state ? Do you have a safe medications hotline ?
Would – not sure if you can – a simple anti anxiety drug help instead of the Lithium ?
I can’t offer much advice since I know so little about Bipolar. I think you are doing an awesome job with Kayla .All her struggles would be daunting for any parent.
I guess only you can make the call whether as a parent you need to put your health needs first or the baby – she has the option of formula . It isn’t so bad if your life depends on it .
Lots of babies thrive on Formula and if you hold her close she will continue to enjoy the nursing bond.NO one would judge you either way . You are being the best parent you want to be right now.. I can see how much you love your children but the way you are considering everything.
If things are going fine – just keep getting checkups to monitor it and nurse a little longer.
I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. take care.
February 10, 2008 at 11:25 pm
ProjectMommy
Thank you for your advice and your kind words. ; D I will look into this safe medication hotline, I think a simple anxiety drug would work until I finish breastfeeding. I hope there is one out there, there has got to be!
February 11, 2008 at 7:48 am
vixensden
You show just how mature and intelligent you are with this post. I know you will do what is right for all of you, you just need some more input and opinions, then you will consider it all and decide. Whatever you decide, will be right for you. And you can always change your mind later on. Trust yourself, you are a wonderful mother and a fantastic daughter.
Oh and you are very handy with PS too!!! Thanks!
February 11, 2008 at 11:04 am
Marlee
I have nothing to offer, but sending good vibes your way. I am sure you will do what is best for everyone.
February 11, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Suzanne
I applaud you! It is very difficult to share something like this, since bipolar disorder is so misunderstood.
It is understandable that you want to continue nursing, and as long as you’re watching for signs of a manic episode that will wear you out, go for it. If the main manifestation of a manic state is just an inability to focus, then perhaps some sort of ADHD medication is a better alternative.
Good luck on the doctor front.
February 11, 2008 at 4:34 pm
pluckymama
sometimes I think I’m bipolar. I know that ADD can be wrongfully diagnosed as bipolar though so I chalk it up to that. I’d like to talk to you about it more though. If you’re functioning normally without the drugs I’d stay away. As long as you’re healthy and your kids are happy then I’d say you’re fine. I’m sure your husband would know weather or not you’re going through a rocky time and could point it out to you.
February 11, 2008 at 10:35 pm
ProjectMommy
Yah, hubby agrees that I have been doing okay the last couple years. There are a couple of hospitalizations in my past for cutting on myself. These past few years I have felt like I have better control on the whole thing. I don’t cut anymore. I just do other dumb stuff now. Nothing so terrible that it can’t wait until I’m done breastfeeding. No cutting or anything. God, I can’t believe I just said that on the internet. How embarassing.
February 12, 2008 at 8:55 am
Jennifer
talk to a professional. I filled out a depression survey at my doc office once and the doc was like, oh this is normal, even thought I answered a question I have thoughts of harming myself. I think you are headed in the right direction with this and get the best information you can. Your general doc can only deal with it so far before they SHOULD refer it.
February 12, 2008 at 9:34 pm
mike golch
you know your not crazy if you shave your head,look at blueman group.they shave their heads and face and put the blue goo on themselves.
seriously you have to what you gotta do to maintain your sanity.
February 12, 2008 at 10:49 pm
No Nonsense girl
hi girl. Speak with a professionnal. There is a doctor who worte a book about medications and lactation. It’s Dr. Hales book.
There is got to be a safe medication alternative for you.
(((((((hugs))))))
BTW’ I’m not bi-polar or anything but as a teenager I was a cutter, I even blogged about it maybe 6 months ago. Nothing to be ashamed of.
February 13, 2008 at 2:44 am
MomOnTheGo
A mom who is conscious of her mental health and a dad who is watchful and supportive, too, is what kids need. No one is “perfect” and at least you are living mindfully. As for breastfeeding, I would ask a lactation consultant or other breastfeeding expert. In Canada we have Mother Risk that deals with pregnancy and breastfeeding. They have a website -http://www.motherisk.org/women/breastfeeding.jsp – and phone numbers. The toll free lines probably won’t work but the 416 number would, if you need to call. Good luck.
February 13, 2008 at 9:44 am
Laura
Oh, hon…it’s so hard to talk about those things that people condemn us about, when they know nothing about them!
First, you’re showing increadible maturity in the way you’re asking for advice, and I applaud you.
I suggest keeping that appointment that you had already made. Have the discussion with the psychiatrist, and then come home and discuss it with your husband. Weigh the pros and cons, and then make the decision. DON’T let anyone pressure you into doing something that you’re not comfortable with, and that is not in the best interest of you and your baby.
Best of luck!
February 13, 2008 at 12:13 pm
pluckymama
I was a cutter too…don’t worry about it. Actually, I think I still am a cutter with loads of self control. About a year ago I snapped and did it again. Gotta love mental illness.
February 13, 2008 at 4:59 pm
jen
i am also a functioning bi-polaroid, and off meds, and nursing a two-year-old, and i’m ok. not perfect. not even great. but functioning and living and also not beating cars with umbrellas. if neither you nor your husband think you need medication, don’t take it. and for th love of all you hold sacred and dear, do not wean your baby! there is always another option, it just takes more effort to find safe or safeish medications, and frankly, most doctors don’t want to do that work.
you know how to reach me if you want to talk.
February 19, 2008 at 3:46 pm
Kelly
I had a great friend in the military who was bipolar. She was diagnosed before she entered service and it was a known issue. Everyone who needed to know, knew, and worked with her. For eight years she served and was considered one of the best at what she did. A true asset and a great friend.
She got a new supervisor, after eight years of good ones, who believed there was only one right way…his way of course. She tried, but after a year he had her removed from service due to ‘inability to adapt to a military lifestyle’. It was a horrible time for her and her friends. Very painful. And not the fault of her disorder, but the failure of others to adapt the varied needs of others.
As far as advice, I’m not the best but can offer a few tips. One, if you feel you are doing the right thing, stick with it. No two people are in complete agreement on how to be a good parent, yet millions of parents do a decent job all the time. Being bipolar doesn’t make you less of a parent than any of them. There is one caveat: If the people close to you start acting strange, like your husband and parents, then most likely you are not thinking straight and should have faith in their counsel.
February 23, 2008 at 9:36 am
pistolpete
I was at a Bipolar Disorder support group the other day. A woman shared that she went off her meds when she got pregnant and stayed off until she had weaned her child. After weaning him, though, her mood went out of control and she had to go back on meds. This makes sense given that a woman’s menstrual cycle has a lot to do with her moods.
Everyone’s story is different, and I don’t like to give advice. I would simply encourage you to keep your options open. I hate taking meds. They are terribly expensive. Though I have some insurance, I still spend as much as 10% of my salary on my meds (and I am the sole wage-earner in my family). Still, I know the emotional and physical cost of going off my meds far outweighs the financial cost.
I pray you gain the wisdom and guidance you need to move peacefully forward.
February 24, 2008 at 9:56 am
Beverly
I don’t know much about this topic except to say that the sudden weaning of a baby might effect your hormones and brain chemistry, too. I hope you can continue nursing, but whatever you decide to do, I hope you get to talk to an IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant), because not every doctor knows much about breastfeeding.
February 25, 2008 at 6:26 am
Manic Monday « Necessary Therapy
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