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So today I think I drank 2 TONS of water. Needless to say, my toilet has never had so much company. I also did squats while cooking dinner, push-ups while Kayla brushed her teeth and a few crunches while holding Ava in airplane position (an have completely convinced my children that I’m one screw loose). I didn’t have time to get a walk outside today, Kayla had occupational therapy and we had to finish cleaning up after the mess we made while spring cleaning (yes, somehow cleaning made our house messier then before…NEVER MESS WITH THE SHIT IN THE CLOSETS!).

I felt kind of sad today, saying goodbye to a lot of our old baby stuff. A lot of those items hold so many precious memories. We gave Kayla’s favorite swing to my bro and sis-in-law. Ava never really cared much for swings but Kayla LOVED hers. I remember seeing her little baby chubb all tucked into it, fast asleep. I used to put her in it and set in in the bathroom while I took a bath. She would coo and babble at me and every once in a while I’d splash a little water at her and she’d laugh.

Sometimes it’s hard for me to realize that the objects don’t hold the memories, I do.  Perhaps why I’m still holding onto the burned chandelier from the dining room of our old house (It burned down in the San Diego wildfires last October-if you’re new to my blog). It’s terribly charred and distorted and looks nothing like it used to when it hung over our dining room table, but every time I see it, it’s feels as though I’ve lost this huge chunk of me. The hubbs was trying to convince me to throw it out yesterday while we were doing our spring cleaning, but I just don’t think I’m ready for that. Maybe next Spring.

I guess another reason it was so hard for me to part with all our old baby stuff is it just seems so final. Like this means for sure I am not having anymore children. If we did then we’d have to go out and buy all new baby stuff! I don’t want to be done having children. I loved being pregnant, I love kids! I just can’t have anymore right now. Now, if I won the lottery tomorrow, I’d be singing a different tune! I’d be knocked up by summer! But sadly, due to money problems (and the fact that I already have my hands full with a disabled toddler and clingy 7 month old) we just can’t live out our dreams of having a large family now.

I loved that baby stuff, but it’s just stuff. And even though I could still smell what Kayla smelled like as a baby on it’s cloth, that doesn’t mean I can’t smell it forever in my mind.

Okay…I’ve gone and made myself cry over a baby swing now. What a turd. Anyway, moving on…I know it’s going to hold my little baby niece or nephew in a few months and I know all of it will be appreciated. Then one day when their little one has grown and they have to get rid of it, they’ll know what I’m talking about now and won’t think I’ve just completely lost it!

Blah. What a weird post this is. Now going to get back to watching my Tivo’d shows like “The Bachelor.” Don’t be jealous. Haha!

Spring Cleaning

The Hubbs and I are spending this Saturday Spring cleaning. We have moved almost every box out of our closet and sorted through bags and boxes of various things we have decided to keep for some unknown reason.

*coughs* Pack-rats! *coughs*

Most of it is old clothing of mine. A collection that has objects dating back to high school. Also, bags of ‘skinny clothes’, ‘fat clothes’, maternity clothes or any other kind of clothes I hang onto because “You never know, one day I could be really skinny again! Or maybe I should hold onto these for the next time I get pregnant!”(…however far off that is, something I don’t even want to think about at this point.) But I have decided all of them are going BYE BYE. I also strangely encountered several bags of damn near brand new baby clothes (some of them have never even been worn) that had once belonged to Kayla. Unfortunately, most of them were sizes NB to 6 months. If I had only done this half a year ago, there would have been a lot more clothes for Ava to wear, but apparently we missed our opportunity. Damn!

While sorting through various things in our storage we came to the realization that we have enough baby equipment to start our own daycare. Baby equipment in our possession follows (but is not limited to):

  • Three fullsize CRIBS (only one is assembled and in use by Ava)
  • 2 play yards/pack n’ plays
  • 2 mini cribs/travel cribs
  • 2 high chairs
  • 1 toddler booster chair
  • 3 baby bouncers (one pink, two blue)
  • 4 baby swings (one new boppy brand, one winnie the pooh, one with bumble bees, one tall swing with rotating ducks)
  • 1 changing table (that we never ended up using because it’s quicker to change them without it)
  • 1 large box of baby boy clothing (we never used because we DON’T HAVE ANY BOYS!)
  • 4 boxes of baby girl clothing
  • 3 boxes of toddler girl clothing
  • 12 teething rings (who needs 12 teethers???)
  • 4 infant car seats
  • 2 toddler car seats
  • 1 bassinet
  • 1 full size tandem stroller
  • 1 full size regular stroller
  • 1 umbrella stroller
  • 2 baby slings/carriers (one of which looked brand new and I had NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE)
  • and about 789,650 billion toys (I may be exaggerating one that one…but that’s what it feels like.)

For one, where did all this stuff come from?? Some of it I didn’t even recognize and told hubby that perhaps there is a baby *crap* fairy out there and every once in a while she drops by our storage closet and deposits various objects while we’re sleeping.

Not only that, but many of the things we own we rarely used because our children disliked them. i.e. Swings and bouncers, Ava has a serious dislike of being out of my arms for longer than 30 SECONDS AT A TIME, so obviously swinging or bouncing is out of the question. We also never used the pack n’ plays because our children refuse to be enclosed in any contraption. We actually only started using one of them in the last three weeks for Ava to sleep in while we are visiting Grandma and Papa.

Many of these objects we will be so gratefully donating to my expecting brother and sister-in-law. (Thank god!) Who I am pretty sure do not know what they have gotten themselves into by agreeing to accept some of our baby hand-me-downs.

Now before my husband flicks me in the head for taking a break mid-cleaning to blog, I must get back to work.

Next stop? The top of the refrigerator! Old prescription bottles, here I come!

 

 

 

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I am a mother to two girls; one is my little miracle "baby" and the other is brand new. This is life with a special needs child and a newborn...>> >>More...