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Spring Cleaning

The Hubbs and I are spending this Saturday Spring cleaning. We have moved almost every box out of our closet and sorted through bags and boxes of various things we have decided to keep for some unknown reason.

*coughs* Pack-rats! *coughs*

Most of it is old clothing of mine. A collection that has objects dating back to high school. Also, bags of ‘skinny clothes’, ‘fat clothes’, maternity clothes or any other kind of clothes I hang onto because “You never know, one day I could be really skinny again! Or maybe I should hold onto these for the next time I get pregnant!”(…however far off that is, something I don’t even want to think about at this point.) But I have decided all of them are going BYE BYE. I also strangely encountered several bags of damn near brand new baby clothes (some of them have never even been worn) that had once belonged to Kayla. Unfortunately, most of them were sizes NB to 6 months. If I had only done this half a year ago, there would have been a lot more clothes for Ava to wear, but apparently we missed our opportunity. Damn!

While sorting through various things in our storage we came to the realization that we have enough baby equipment to start our own daycare. Baby equipment in our possession follows (but is not limited to):

  • Three fullsize CRIBS (only one is assembled and in use by Ava)
  • 2 play yards/pack n’ plays
  • 2 mini cribs/travel cribs
  • 2 high chairs
  • 1 toddler booster chair
  • 3 baby bouncers (one pink, two blue)
  • 4 baby swings (one new boppy brand, one winnie the pooh, one with bumble bees, one tall swing with rotating ducks)
  • 1 changing table (that we never ended up using because it’s quicker to change them without it)
  • 1 large box of baby boy clothing (we never used because we DON’T HAVE ANY BOYS!)
  • 4 boxes of baby girl clothing
  • 3 boxes of toddler girl clothing
  • 12 teething rings (who needs 12 teethers???)
  • 4 infant car seats
  • 2 toddler car seats
  • 1 bassinet
  • 1 full size tandem stroller
  • 1 full size regular stroller
  • 1 umbrella stroller
  • 2 baby slings/carriers (one of which looked brand new and I had NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE)
  • and about 789,650 billion toys (I may be exaggerating one that one…but that’s what it feels like.)

For one, where did all this stuff come from?? Some of it I didn’t even recognize and told hubby that perhaps there is a baby *crap* fairy out there and every once in a while she drops by our storage closet and deposits various objects while we’re sleeping.

Not only that, but many of the things we own we rarely used because our children disliked them. i.e. Swings and bouncers, Ava has a serious dislike of being out of my arms for longer than 30 SECONDS AT A TIME, so obviously swinging or bouncing is out of the question. We also never used the pack n’ plays because our children refuse to be enclosed in any contraption. We actually only started using one of them in the last three weeks for Ava to sleep in while we are visiting Grandma and Papa.

Many of these objects we will be so gratefully donating to my expecting brother and sister-in-law. (Thank god!) Who I am pretty sure do not know what they have gotten themselves into by agreeing to accept some of our baby hand-me-downs.

Now before my husband flicks me in the head for taking a break mid-cleaning to blog, I must get back to work.

Next stop? The top of the refrigerator! Old prescription bottles, here I come!




 Thursday Thirteen
Thirteen Things I’m thinking about right now

1. We took Kayla to her speech therapy evaluation today and it didn’t go as well as I thought it would. They said she had severe receptive language impairment and moderate expressive language impairment. She will now be starting individual speech therapy twice a week for the next 6 months (for a total of 48 visits), then they will re-evaluate to see if more sessions are needed. They also referred me to get a developmental evaluation again because her cognitive abilities are very behind and she has a very bad attention deficit. On top of her occupational therapy. They told me she has to get in as much therapy as we can if we plan on enrolling her in “regular” school come time for kindergarten. I never actually thought of the fact that she may not be able to go to regular school.

2. I need to send in the forms CCS sent me to help me cover the co-pays for Kayla. We are spending roughly $45 dollars a week in co-pays now and lots more therapy is needed. We are also spending a lot in gas getting to all the appointments so we need to finish applying for her state disability to help with all the costs.

3. I talked to my gram earlier and she is going to be sending me her old palm pilot to help me get a little more organized with her appointments. Sweet!

4. The show Best week ever is funny.

5. Why is Tom Cruise so weird? He makes the most awesome movies yet he is so freaking bizarre. I think he is from another planet.

6. Kayla’s 3rd birthday is coming up VERY soon! My little girl is going to be three. WHERE DID THE TIME GO?? It’s too bad so many people can’t make it to the party.

7. My hubby bought me flowers and Starbucks the other morning for no reason. Isn’t that the nicest thing? I love him!

8. We are in desperate need of a second vehicle. Dang.

9. I gave Ava a haircut tonight. Her first one! I still have yet to take the kids anywhere to get their hair cut, I always do it myself. It looks fairly good. Maybe her hair won’t get matted in her sleep anymore.

10. David Cook should SO win American Idol. He is really good. It kind of bugs me that he looks like he might be balding and trying to cover it up by bushing forward his hair but that doesn’t change he fact that he is very talented. My favorite song he did so far was Eleanor Rigby. I just like his take on the song.

11. I can’t believe people would be stupid enough to think that a whole household of valuable items were theirs for the taking because of a craigslist ad. (Click here to read the article)

12. I wonder what little babies dream about. I would love to be in their heads for a night just to see the cute little baby dreams. I just went in to check on Ava and she kept smiling and giggling in her sleep. She’s probably dreaming about boobs!

13. Speaking of dreams, I had pretty much the most bizarre dream ever last night. I dreamed that I found out that Charles Manson was Ava’s real father. I know! WTF? I dreamt that I was going to visit a friend of mine and while I was waiting for her to answer the door Charles Manson came up behind me and handed me a pamphlet for something, then he asked if I remembered him. I was like, “uhh, no…” So I went inside my friends house because he was creeping me out. I told my friend about what happened and how weird it was and she said, “Don’t you remember him? Don’t you see the resemblance between him and Ava? He’s Ava’s real father!”  I was like “Riiiiiiigggghhhhtt. Okay, this is a dream.” I woke myself up right then. I realized that I had that dream because the hubbs and I were talking about Charles Manson and how creepy he is right before I went to bed last night. I told my mom about it over the phone and she almost died laughing. She almost had to perform the Heimlich maneuver on my father who was eating a piece of pizza when she told him. She says she sees the resemblance, I, however, do not…


Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Kayla has had a lot of problems with her speech since she (finally) started talking, for that reason we decided not to push the teaching of any Spanish phrases. We decide to hold off on that until she had started getting the English language down to avoid any confusion.

Today we were visiting grandma at her new house and I gave Kayla a cookie from the cookie jar.

Kayla: Gracias, mama!

Me: Uhhh, your welcome, Kaymay….

I was a little shocked by that, but we do live in southern California so I just chalked it up to her having heard it somewhere.

Later on Kayla brought me a picture she had drawn with her Auntie Nini.

Me: Oh, Kayla, it’s so beautiful! Thank you very much!

Kayla: De nada (pronouncing it Ne dahdah), mama.

It wasn’t until a few minutes later it came to me…

Someone’s been watching quite a bit of Dora the Explorer.

So, I just want to say, Gracias Dora…

When I first heard that Bush was asking to pass a tax relief bill to stimulate the economy I was actually rather offended. Not at the tax relief, but at why I was getting it. I was watching BBC News, and they were talking about how he wanted to give it to lower income families because they would be more likely to spend it rather than invest or save the money. My first thought was, ‘Who’s to say that I won’t spend the money wisely? That is definitely stereotyping!’ After only a few moments though, my thoughts had drifted to, ‘Hmm, I wonder what cool stuff I could get with that extra money!’ I then realized that sometimes, just sometimes, stereotyping is right.

We received our tax refund a couple weeks ago, and although it’s not gone, there is a serious chunk missing. Well, I wouldn’t say missing, as I can see it all around me (Haha). Right now I am typing my first post on my new laptop. Not only my new laptop my FIRST laptop.

My husband and I have been living in the past for far too long. Most of the people I know who are close to my age have the following things; A laptop, surround sound or some kind of half-arsed attempt at a home theater system, a gaming console (X-Box, Playstation, or Wii), and an mp3 player (namely an iPod). We don’t have didn’t have any of these things. Nor had we ever had any of these things.

Now, I am not a very materialistic person…no, wait, yes I am. Well, never mind on that statement. Is it a huge deal to be materialistic? Should I be ashamed? I know money doesn’t buy happiness, but does that mean it can’t bring a little simple joy? Or in my case, intense overwhelming joy? The kind of joy that makes me want to scream from my balcony, “HEY! I HAVE A FREAKING NINTENDO WII!” but don’t in fear that someone will come in my house while I am sleeping and swipe it, leaving a note behind saying “Thanks for letting me know!”?

Last night we threw a Wii party. Yes, you heard that right, a Wii party. If there is no such term it doesn’t matter because I just invented it. It’s kind of like a housewarming party, but more like a Wii-warming party. There was delicious food, cooked by my father (thanks for cooking, dad!), Guitar Hero, bowling, and wine and beer for the participating parties. We thoroughly broke in our Wii and we enjoyed every minute of it. My husband mastered Guitar Hero 3 on easy within the first 24 hours (I know there must be a couple of you out there that have mastered, or know someone who has mastered this game on expert and are laughing your butts off at how proud of this fact I sound) but I, however am still struggling through songs trying not to be booed off stage. Sad, but true. We had a great party. I know we are total nerds for being so excited about this, but it’s okay. It feels good to finally have all the cool stuff everyone my age has. Well, at least everyone my age in this ritzy suburb of San Diego I live in, and it feels good to be a nerd.

My Guitar Hero hand hurts and we still have the extra tax relief coming! No, really, we have to spend at least that wisely.

These are funny.

Fake Wii Safety instructions.

You never know, one day you may have the urge to do this with your Wii! They make a lot more sense after you read this postby Click picture for larger view.

Fake Wii safety instructions

I found this post by amotherlikeallothers through morethananelectrician who had just left a comment on my blog (who you should also visit). It is a really funny post and I like the way she writes. From what I can tell she just started out and is NOT feeling the love with her blog stats or comments. Hopefully this will help bring some readers to her site, because I know once you start reading her you’ll continue to do so. Go check it out and leave her some love! Do it! I said so! ; P

Here it is in all it’s glory.


Yes, it looks simple enough, but when accompanied by lost screws and screaming children, trying to put this beast up while the hubby was at work was possibly the worst idea I’ve had.

After trying for about three hours, I gave up and waited for Mr. Fix It to get home. He found the lost screws (they were right near the rest of the screws–so technically they were not lost at all, I’m just blind) and put the rest of it together in about 20 minutes.

…Show off.

Her first night in it I was bracing myself for very little sleep. We’ve tried this before, her crib turns into a toddler bed, and she was always TERRIFIED at the thought of not having that rail there, to the point of crying until we put it back up. I wanted to do this transition a long time ago but I didn’t want to force it on her. The closer we were getting to her third birthday, the more I worried why any toddler would still want to be in a baby crib. So we thought, maybe if we got a whole new bed she would focus more on how cool it was she has a new princess bed and less on the fact that it was a big scary change like in the crib when we took of the rail.

It worked, this is day two and we haven’t had a single problem. Actually, she thinks she can’t get out of bed, like there is some invisible rail there –we were also worried she would just get out of bed and play with her toys all night instead of sleeping, but that hasn’t been a problem at all! She sits on her bed and will actually yell “mama! mama!” until I come pick her off her bed. I’m not sure why she doesn’t realize there is not anything stopping her from coming to get me herself, but hey, we will take what we can get.

My daughter, the only child on the face of the planet that refuses the ability to get out of her bed a million times a night whenever she feels like it.

I’m sure my time will come soon enough.

Earlier, I was preparing mine and Kayla’s breakfast (Turkey sausage and strawberries, mmm…) and I decided I needed a cup of coffee. As I started cleaning out the coffee pot the baby started crying. She has a sort of sixth sense for when food is about to be ready, she starts crying right as I’m about to eat. Why? Because she wishes me to starve to death so that she can roll about the house freely to search for every single one of Kayla’s toys small enough to fit down her windpipe.

Just as I finished cleaning out the pot and filling the filter with coffee grounds, Kayla snuck up behind me and grabbed my leg. I startled, throwing the filled filter into the air like I threw the bouquet at my wedding, spewing the coffee grounds in every which direction.

You know how they make wrinkle creams with caffeine in them now because caffeine is supposed to stimulate collagen or something?

I don’t think this is what they had in mind…

 The Coffee Incident of 2008

And yes, I got some up my nose.

After reading another blog tonight I decided to revisit my blog stats. It is bizarre to see what search terms are bringing people to my site. Some are pretty accurate in depicting my site, others, I find a tad disturbing. For instance, if you are here looking for ‘suppository insertion pictures’ you’ll be sadly disappointed as we are fresh out of them at this point in time and will not be receiving our next shipment until summer. I’m not really sure why people would be searching for this or quite possibly where in my old posts these can be found, but if you are in need of these pictures, I am guessing you are either too old to read the directions on the package or you are a pervert. I’m going with the latter!

…Oh wait! Here is a suppository insertion picture right here! I found it in the corner!

In the midst of finding that picture, I came across something even more disturbing than suppository pictures. Friends, I’d like to introduce you to Deer Butt Doorbells.

I’ve just realized, somehow during my rambling about search terms, I got sidetracked, starting looking at deer butt doorbells and now have doomed myself to a new search term that will soon be gracing the Stat page of my blog. It’s like a never ending circle…

Now, to address some of my other stats; If you are here looking for the ‘HOT BODY GIRL’ I can guarantee you will not be finding it. On the other hand, if you are looking for ‘after baby belly’ we’re fully stocked.

The majority of my stats are pregnant women looking for advice, info, or salvation. So I thought I would do my best to help out those new moms. Here are some of the answers to the things you were looking for when you came across my site.

‘do you pee a lot the whole pregnancy’

-Yes. My advice: move your mattress into the bathroom. One way or another, this is where you will be spending the majority of your pregnancy.

‘5 days of false labor can i speed it up’

-No. No, no, no and no. I’m sorry. Please don’t cry.

‘make pregnancy go by faster’

-See above answer.

‘pregnant belly pics’

-Yes, I’ve got one or two of those lying around here. Now you can do the same thing I did my whole pregnancy, look at pregnant bellies on the Internet and ask your hubby over and over whether or not you are THAT big…

Now for something I have always wanted to try; maybe, by typing random words I can direct blog traffic here, or at least certain types of readers to my blog (Oh you’re just jealous I thought of it first!). So if you may, completely disregard this random outburst of words…






DEER BUTT DOORBELLS (I might as well give in to it. As hideously ridiculous as they may be…)


I am so bad at making these things Wordless.

   This picture is of a Barbie (or “Bawbie” pronounced with a Jersey accent as Kayla would call it) that I got Kayla for her 18-month birthday. Yes, you heard that right, 18-month birthday.

   I don’t know about any of you moms out there, and I may just be sounding crazy, but I celebrated every month of the first year of my first-born’s life. Every month she had a home made cake on the 3rd (whether she could eat it or not) and when she turned one I decided maybe I should only celebrate half years after that. We are currently a part of the birthday ONCE a year club, as mom cannot bake a cake once a month for the rest of your LIFE and isn’t quite sure what she was thinking once she started this.

Now that I have another kid, I’m like, how old is she again? Four or five months? …I don’t remember… Not because kid number two is any less special or anything, but because celebrating a birthday every month requires energy. Energy that would be better used on say, fighting off a kicking, screaming, flailing toddler that absolutely will die if she doesn’t get to watch Blue’s Clue’s at that very exact second no matter where in the world you are or what you are doing.

Maybe I just clung to the fact that she was still alive and celebrating on the third of each month was just my way of coming to grips with the fact that, yes, she truly was there, alive and breathing next to me.

Anyways, back to my not-so-Wordless Wednesday. This is a picture of the Barbie I gave her on her 18-month birthday as one of her gifts. She could have cared less about it at the time seeing as how it is not really an age appropriate toy for an 18-month-old, but now it has become her latest obsession. “Bawbie” must eat sleep, bathe, and yes, my friends, even sit on the potty with us.

After our bath the other day, Kayla told me that “Bawbie” needed a diaper. I tried to explain to her that Barbie was a big girl that used the potty and tried to tell her that she should take some pointers from Barbie, but it was a no go. So after much persuasion, mommy cut up one of Sissies diapers that she had outgrown and taped it to Barbie. Because Barbie poops herself.

I missed the last TT at the begining of January due to a serious lack of internet. So I am making up for it now with my TT # 6-Thirteen Things that have happened since the ball dropped!


Thirteen Things that have happened since the ball dropped!

1. Went to Disneyland with the whole family!

2. Found out I’m probably a diabetic! Yay! Fun! (Fasting blood sugar 176…not so good)

3. I had my first “tea party” with my 2½ year old.

4. Got rained on. Heavily.

5. Spent two days freaked out of my mind when a mysterious lump appeared on my husbands testicle and we had to wait to find out if it was cancer. (It’s not! ; D)

6. Decided to start a diet/way of life that will be much better for me.

7. I enrolled my first born in speech and occupational therapy.

8. I slept in a couple times.

9. I took a bath with both my babies.

10. I gave my youngest rice cereal for the first time!

11. I stopped biting my nails!

12. I scheduled 5 doctors appointments in the first 3 weeks of the year.

13. I lost 6 pounds! (Probably the effects of uncontrolled diabetes, so not sure if this counts as good or bad!)

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others’ comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!




   So my mother got my kids one of those Christmas countdown calendars this year, (you know the ones that you open one each day and get a piece of chocolate until Christmas day) I have been letting her open one door every day this month and she loves it.

   Earlier today I left my husband alone to watch the kids while I ran to the store with my sister for groceries. I had the calendar up high where my daughter could not reach it so that she wouldn’t get a hold of it and eat every day that was left. I noticed a little while ago that the calendar wasn’t where I left it. I was worried and went to look and see if any days were missing. I was relieved to find that only tomorrow’s chocolate had been consumed prematurely, but after I thought about it I began to realize that this didn’t seem to be the work of a toddler.


A toddler wouldn’t have known which one was the 15th to eat it and probably would not have eaten just one.

This leads me to one conclusion; an adult is behind this.

Now, why on earth would my husband decide to eat one of her countdown chocolates? I’m pretty sure that is as close as you get to child abuse (LOL)! What is she going to do tomorrow when there is no countdown chocolate because Daddy ate it?!

After a minute or to I started to realize that this sounded an awful lot like the movie Bad Santa with Billy Bob Thornton who actually (slightly, very slightly) reminds me of an older version of my husband.

…I’m off to mush up any chocolate I can find in the house and shove it into tomorrow’s little door. She’s got to have something to open tomorrow!

While decorating the Christmas tree Ava decided she was hungry and wanted to be fed. I brought her close to me and began nursing while hubby continued adding ornaments.

Me: I heard that skin-to-skin contact is really good for young babies. It sends some sort of message to their brain, like endorphins or something.

I said tripping over my words, not able to remember where I was going with that…

Hubby: Like e-mails, brain e-mails.

Me: Sure. Like brain e-mails…


On a side note, what did I do in life to deserve the elf name “Freckles Blinking Bum?”

Your Elf Name Is…

Freckles Blinking Bum

What’s Your Elf Name?

If you’ve got the time, I’ve got the video’s! Here’s Thirteen YouTube videos I find very entertaining!1. This little baby is adorable. I kinda wish I could hear him laugh all day.


2. The evolution of dance. One’s guys interpretation that is pretty funny to watch.


3. I laughed so hard at this I almost peed my pants. My husband loves that movie. The 300 techno remix!


4. Old lady gets this guy good.


5. I hate spiders with a passion and this video kind of creeps me out but it’s funny enough, it’s worth it.


6. I love the band and the video is even better! OK Go-On treadmills!


7. Can’t forget Numa Numa. I think this was the first YouTube video I ever saw! Yay!


8. My hubby and I watch re-runs of this show everyday and this was still my favorite episode. Richard Simmons on Who’s Line is it Anyway?


9. This guy is pretty talented! Two guitar Super Mario Brothers theme!


10. 1,500 inmates perform Micheal Jackson’s “Thriller”. Hey, If I were in prison I would have so joined in!


11.  Oh my gosh. I cannot get enough of laughing babies and I know you can’t either. It’s even better when there are four at once!


12. A great way to get back at telemarketers! The best phone prank yet!


13. And last but not least; Great moments in Presidential Speeches. Bush, I don’t even know what to say about this.

Get the Thursday Thirteen code here! The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!


Yes, I know, I know…the final episode of The Bachelor aired yesterday but I Tivo’d it and watched it tonight so to me it’s like it just happened. I’m a little behind the times. I don’t know what else to say but, WHAT?

He didn’t choose anyone. He sent them both home! AGGHH! I was so pissed! Of course I was voting for Jenni. If I saw Deanna blink her eyes one more time I thought I might have to throw my TV off the balcony.

Anyways, after I saw this confusing episode, I went on the message boards on and started reading. I came across a post that said it was from Brad himself and began reading;

“My lawyer suggested a put up a public post to avoid possible harassment in the future.   I was not able to use my name – it was unavailable because someone had taken the screen name already.

First and foremost, I would like to say Thank You from the bottom of my heart for watching this show.   I am grateful for the experience and will never regret it.   I got to know 25 gorgeous ladies and had the time of my life.

I have not had a chance to read any of the posts yet, but I promise you all I will read each and every single one of them and take them to heart.

I just want to thank all my loyal fans for hanging in there with me and for all the presents, cards, support and stuffed animals I have received.

First I must ask some of those to please  stop burning me in effigy.   It’s been disturbing the past 24 hours walking around Austin and seeing life-size cardboard cut outs of me being set on fire.   I obviously have issues, but those that would be so hurtful need to rethink their actions.

I truly cared about each woman.   But ABC edited out most of my concerns, so you only have a small picture of what really happened.   You can ask anyone who attended TFRC.

Jenni was wonderful girl but she was a kleptomaniac.   After I left her apartment the final night, I found $20 missing from my wallet.

Deanna was drop dead gorgeous and so seemingly well put together, but ABC informed me at the last minute that she was mentally ill and believed she was blinking Morse code messages to aliens from the Planet Zephelon.

And Bettina was a dream come true  until the overnight fantasy date when I discovered she had a p*nis.

So please keep in mind that there is more going on than you see on TV.   If you are a normal woman and would like the chance to date me, please visit my myspace page or meet up with me at one of my bars.   Looking forward to meeting you all!

Many Thanks and Blessings,


LMAO. I almost fell over I laughed so hard. Obviously this is not a message from the real Brad, but it was extremely entertaining nonetheless. The part about Deanna communicating with aliens by blinking Morse code, awesome.


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I am a mother to two girls; one is my little miracle "baby" and the other is brand new. This is life with a special needs child and a newborn...>> >>More...